Please Shut Up About Halo 4

Okay, time to accept it. The newest Halo video game is coming out November 6. We’re already getting details about the multiplayer and we’ll have a pretty good idea of what to expect by this fall. It’s only a matter of time until the internet contracts this cancer. My RSS reader will be filled with Halo news and there will be dozens of over-used memes.  Then we’ll get parodies from the webcomic artists. It will be Skyrim all over again, but with teabagging and space marines.

We don’t have to go down this road. We can stop it. How? Don’t talk about Halo. Don’t read about it or watch videos about it. You can still buy the game but you have to remember… you know what? I can’t do this.

The real reason I don’t want to hear about Halo is that I can’t play it since I have a Playstation 3, not an Xbox 360. Halo 2 for the original Xbox was the first FPS I ever played. It will always remain one of my favorite games and franchises ever. I love the story, the Chief, the gameplay, the music, all of it! I even downloaded Xlink Kai so that I could play online even years after Microsoft dropped support for Live on the original console. But when Halo 3 came out, Microsoft decided to make it Xbox exclusive, rather than have it on PC too. So now I have no way to play the new games. I don’t even understand why they did this. Microsoft owns Xbox and Windows. They would make millions from the PC gaming demographic. So what is a poor Halo-less sap like me supposed to do when everyone starts talking about it? Even Conan O’freaking Brian is promoting it!

Who wouldn’t follow this man into war?

So if someone could just buy me an Xbox 360, I’d really appreciate it.


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